My favorite New Yorker cartoonist wrote/drew a memoir of caring her for aging parents called “Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?” It outlines their decline as their minds and bodies start to go. She talks about how no one wanted to talk about “the future” but still they had to keep walking towards it – meeting with an elder law attorney, her parent’s wish to remain at home as long as possible even as it contributed to their physical problems, going through finances with them to see where they could afford to live, visiting and moving to assisted living facilities, Roz having to go back and clean out their apartment, working with hospice and saying goodbye.
I loved the way she talked about the conflicting emotions she had about being their care-giver, which is never an easy task. It reminded me of the struggles I have seen families go through. And while there are probably more pleasant things to talk about, talking about our wishes for end of life care or what we want to happen to our things after we pass away (or talking about anything important to us, really) should take place sooner rather than later.
I think this book should be required reading for anyone who works with folks as they age. And since the cartoons and drawings temper the serious and sometimes sad subject matter, it can be a good way to introduce the topic into your own family discussions.
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