• Hiring assistance at home with meals, errands and housework so you or your loved one stays nourished, has a safe environment and has human companionship.
• Hiring medical assistance at home to help with things like bathing and dressing for a few hours a day.
• Spending some time each day at an adult day center, which can be especially good for people with dementia (and those who love them and need respite care.)
• Hiring more full time medical care at home to help with a chronic illness.
• Moving in with a family member or having a family member move in with you.
• Having a live-in companion to provide medical assistance as well as housekeeping and meal preparation duties.
• Moving to an assisted living community.
• Hiring additional care givers in the assisted living community.
• Short term rehabilitation stays in a nursing facility.
• Skilled nursing care facility (nursing home.)

As you can see, there are many options for living and care for people as they age. There are also usually a few options for payment of these services, whether it is privately paid, paid through a long term care insurance policy or paid through a public program such as Medicaid.  The important thing is to explore your options before you need them, so that you and your family know what is out there and what would suit you best.

Here are the key things to review:

• Has your financial situation changes dramatically since the last time you had your Wills or Trust drafted?
• Have any of the people you named as guardians, executors, health care agents or trustees moved away or had a change in circumstance that make them inappropriate to serve? If you appointed a couple as guardian of your children, are they still married?
• Do you have any new bank accounts that need to be added to your trusts or new life insurance policies? Check that the beneficiaries are correct.
• Have your children had a change in circumstance since you drafted the document? If they are minors, do they have any special needs? If they are older, are the potential ages of distribution in the trust or will still appropriate? Are they having any personal difficulties that might make inheriting money outright in appropriate?
• Do you have any new medical conditions that your health care agents should be aware of?

If you have answered yes to any these questions, make the necessary changes, communicate with your agents and call your attorney if your legal documents need changing.Then pat yourself on the back for taking the time to review your plan and make sure it will continue to serve you and your family.

• What is your lifestyle like? Do you travel a lot for work? Enjoy your freedom? Or are you ready to settle down if necessary to raise children?
• Do you drink heavily or do drugs? Be honest with yourself here. You don’t need to explain why you are saying no to your friends, but you should decline to be named a guardian if substances are an issue in your life.
• Do the children have any special needs or medical issues that you would need to manage? Are you willing to be trained in handling those?
• What financial arrangements have been made for the support of the children after their parents pass away? If the parents seem to be relying on you to provide financial support for the children, you may want to encourage them to purchase life insurance before agreeing to take on that responsibility.
• Do you already have children? Would the total number of children and the ages of the children (and their personalities) mesh well if they suddenly had to move in with you?
• If they are asking you and your spouse to both be guardians, is your marriage in tact and likely to stay that way for the foreseeable future? If you are thinking about divorce, let you friend know that they may just want to name one of you.
• Will the parents be preparing a document with all of the children’s medical and schooling information, as well as any allergy or injury information a potential guardian will need to know? This should be something they update on a regular basis so you will always have the most accurate information.
• Are they naming alternates? If at some point in the future you change your mind, is there someone else named who could fill that role if needed?

There are sensitive issues to deal with here, but since it involves the possibility of raising someone else’s children it’s important to be open and honest when talking to your friends or siblings.  You should always feel free to say no if you think you would not be a suitable guardian.

Many times when a family is dealing with sorting through belongings, they aren’t able to ask these questions because the owner is incapacitated or has passed away. In the rush to clear the house, stock certificates that have been stored in boxes labeled “Important Papers – 1976″ might be thrown away. Cash stored in the leaves of books or shoved into the toes of old shoes might be tossed into the trash bin.  Something that looks like junk jewelry or random artwork might be quite valuable but sold for very little at a yard sale.

I usually recommend that my clients, while they are in the process of drafting their Wills and working on their estate plan, also take the time to write an inventory of things of value in the home. This can include notes taped on the back of art work about its origins or a list of jewelry along with the occasion it was gifted upon and something relating to its value.  Maybe there are musical instruments or collectibles that have some value that might be overlooked by family members in a rush to clear things out.

Why not take some time today to jot down some notes about items in your home whose story you want to be sure to pass along.

Think about what information you think they need from your Facebook or email account, and then think about whether there is another way for them to get it.  Do you want them to send out an email from your email address announcing your death? That seems creepy. Maybe keep a separate list of friends you want notified in the event of your death with phone numbers or addresses or emails that can be sent from some place besides your personal email address.

Also consider whether there are sent and received emails that might be hurtful for your family to find or cause them unneeded stress. Are there emails or messages from a “friend” that could be misconstrued as something more? Are there emails about a medical condition that you might not want them to know about ? Are there financial emails that could cause them undue stress?

There are some digital things you may want to make sure you family can access after your death.  If you have a blog, they can archive it and put up a final post. If you have an online account for photos, you could give them the password so they can retrieve those. Likewise, if you have a Paypal or other online funds account, you may want them to be able to close that and retrieve any funds in it.

There have been a lot of articles lately about making sure you leave your online passwords so someone can access your accounts after you pass away.  I suggest reviewing each account on a case by cases basis to make sure your family really does need access after you are gone.

Keeping up with your record keeping duties and filing all accounts in a timely manner are all part of your responsibilities as a fiduciary. You can also hire an accountant or an attorney to assist you with this work.

• Keep walkways clear of snow, leaves, rocks, toys, etc. Little legs that are just learning to walk can trip and fall. And older bodies with eyes and balance that might not be as good as they were need a clear path to stay safe. Also using a stroller or a walker is easier on clear ground.
• Check the hot water temperature. Both baby skin and the skin of elderly people is more susceptible to burns from hot water. Keep both ages safe by turning the temperature down a few degrees to avoid accidental scalding.
• Keep the rooms warm enough. Ever wonder why nursing homes often feel over-heated? It’s because the elderly have a harder time regulating their body temperature. Babies do, too (and they move around less so they aren’t generating their own heat.) Consider turning up the thermostat a few degrees, and being sure to provide lap blankets and sweaters if needed.
• They both like to be involved! Just because a baby can’t talk doesn’t mean they should be left out of activities. Likewise, an older relative with hearing or vision issues shouldn’t be left out either. Figure out a way to integrate people of all ages into the fun. (Somehow even when my grandmother had trouble with her vision, she still managed to beat me at Chinese Checkers!)
• Treasure them while they are here! Babies grow up fast, and people don’t live forever. Slow down and treasure your time with them. Take pictures, write down funny things they say and enjoy them!

Shel Silverstein has a lovely poem about the similarities between our older and younger selves. Click here to read “The Little Boy and The Old Man.“

Do you know what the answer most often is? Walking.

It’s true: my clients who remain healthy and active (and at home) the longest are those who have a regular, daily habit of walking. Some of them walk around the block a few times a day, others are walking 3 miles a day.

I bet in addition to the good workout they are getting, they are also benefiting from the social aspects of walking with friends or seeing neighbors, and the fresh air and sunshine that our bodies need.

(Other tips my clients have given me: practicing forgiveness, being kind to other people and having a small glass of wine a few times a week during a good card game.)

Some of the things you will want to talk about:

• Whether the prospective guardians want to serve. They may already be named by other friends or relatives and have their plate full. They may also have medical or other issues that make them uncomfortable about serving. Respect their decision if they say “no, thank you.”
• The financial arrangements you have in place. Assure the guardians that you have made adequate arrangements with your finances so that your children will be provided for without putting a hardship on the guardians.
• The family members you want your children to stay in touch with. Provide your prospective guardians with a list of family members that you want your children to keep in touch with in the event both parents pass away. If there are family members you have concerns about, let your guardians know about them, too.
• Your children’s medical and educational information. Keep an updated list of your child’s medical and educational information and let your guardians know where this information is located.
• Your children’s habits, routines and activities.  This can be a document that you update yearly letting your guardians know about your children’s habits and routines. This can be especially helpful if your guardians do not see your children on a regular basis. It can also be a nice way to record memories of your children for you and them to look back on later.

While your guardians will hopefully never need to serve, be sure to take the time to make things easier for them, and your children, if they ever need to.  Then, call your attorney to put the legal documents in place to make sure your choice of guardian will be honored.

Here are some of the benefits to having co-guardians:

• Someone is available if a guardian needs or wants to travel or take a break,
• There is less of a likelihood of needing court proceedings if one of the guardians passes away,
• Sometimes a parent and other adult child will serve as co-guardians of a family member so that when the parent passes away the adult child can continue to serve (and will already be familiar with the role of guardian),
• Having shared decision making power can help relieve the burden of serving as guardian.

Some things to keep in mind are that the guardians will need to agree on major decisions such as medical care, housing and work.  This may not always work in all families so take some time to consider whether co-guardians will work in your case before taking on that responsibility.