Will Your Family Honor Your Health Care Wishes?

When I work with my clients to help prepare their plans for what will happen to their things after they pass away, I also talk to them about making sure that we put a plan in place for what will happen to them while they are alive but incapacitated and need someone to communicate with their doctor’s about their medical care wishes. I usually give them a 5 Wishes Living Will booklet to work on and share with their families. The goal behind this booklet is to make sure that their family understands their wishes and can express them to the medical professionals providing care.

A recent study at a hospital, however, found that health care surrogates (the family members the doctors turned to for guidance) often base their judgements on considerations other than what the patients want.

As the article points out

It underscores the importance of having an advance directive and distributing copies to anyone who might be involved, including your doctors. (A P.O.L.S.T. form may work better for people who are chronically ill and near the end of their lives.) Beyond that, “it’s a call for having conversations with your family members about what you want,” Dr. Torke said — that’s conversations, plural. Your ideas and your health can change over time, and your surrogate needs to understand your current thinking.

And, crucially, you will want to choose a surrogate whose values and beliefs are close to yours, if you want him to follow your plan rather than try to divine the Almighty’s. “You can’t write down all the possibilities,” Dr. Torke said. “Find someone you trust.”

I tell my clients that it doesn’t so much matter that the person shares your beliefs, but that they will honor your wishes when the time comes. This study makes it clear that this is the case. Remember, when it comes to having someone else making health care decisions for you it means that you have lost that ability. Have the conversations now while you still can.

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